Quotes

Welcome to my quotes page. I’ve collected the following quotes from Literature, Television, Movies, and other miscellaneous sources. I hope you enjoy them.

Literature | Dune (Frank Herbert) | Ender’s Saga (Orson Scott Card) | J. R. R. Tolkien | Robert A. Heinlein | Carl Sagan | Movies | Star Wars | Television | Unclassified

Literature

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.

» Dumbledore, The Philosopher’s Stone
 

Morality pertains only to the sphere of man’s free will – only to those actions which are open to his choice.

» Ayn Rand
 

What is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.

» Ernest Hemingway
 

If you love, you will suffer, and if you do not love, you will not know the meaning of a Christian life.

» Agatha Christie
 

There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

» Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy
 

Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he would not in mine age have left me naked to mine enemies.

» William Shakespeare, Henry VIII (3. 2. 528)
 

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun

» William Shakespeare, Sonnet #130
 

The love of heaven makes one heavenly.

» William Shakespeare

Dune (Frank Herbert)

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

» The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune
 

Deep in the human unconsciousness is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

» Dune
 

What do you despise? By this are you truly known.

» Manual of Muad’Dib by Princess Irulan, Dune
 

Beyond a critical point in a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. This is as true of humans in the finite space of a planetary ecosystem as it is of gas molecules in a sealed flask. The human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.

» Pardot Kynes, First Planetologist of Arrakis, Dune
 

The whole theory of warfare is calculated risk, but when it comes to risking your own family, the element of calculation gets submerged in. . . other things.

» Duke Leto Atreides, Dune
 

A world is supported by four things : the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the righteous and the valour of the brave. But all of these are as nothing, without a ruler who knows the art of ruling.

» Dune
 

Atrocity is recognized as such by victim and perpetrator alike, by all who learn about it at whatever remove. Atrocity has no excuses, no mitigating argument. Atrocity never balances or rectifies the past. Atrocity merely arms the future for more atrocity. It is self-perpetuating upon itself – a barbarous form of incest. Whoever commits atrocity also commits those future atrocities thus bred.

» The Apocrypha of Muad’Dib, Children of Dune
 

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders.

» Law and Governance: The Spacing Guild Manual, Children of Dune
 

Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristocratic forms. No government in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, government tends more and more to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class–whether that class be hereditary royalty, oligarchs of financial empires, or entrenched bureaucracy.

» Politics as Repeat Phenomenon: Bene Gesserit Training Manual, Children of Dune
 

No matter how exotic human civilization becomes, no matter the developments of life and society, nor the complexity of the machine/human interface, there always come interludes of lonely power when the course of humankind, the very future of humankind, depends upon the relatively simple actions of single individuals.

» from the Tleilaxu Godbuk, Dune Messiah

J. R. R. Tolkien

I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass!

» Gandalf, on the bridge in Moria, The Fellowship of the Ring
 

A star shines on the hour of our meeting.

» Elvish greeting, The Fellowship of the Ring
 

He deserves death. Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

» Gandalf and Frodo, The Fellowship of the Ring
 

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

» Bilbo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring
 

The wolf that one hears is worse than the orc that one fears.

» Boromir, The Fellowship of the Ring
 

But do not despise the lore that has come down from distant years; for oft it may chance that old wives keep in memory word of things that once were needful for the wise to know.

» Celeborn, to Boromir, The Fellowship of the Ring
 

These are indeed strange days. Dreams and legends spring to life out of the grass.

» Eomer, The Two Towers
 

I am not going to tell you my name, not yet at any rate. . . my name is like a story. Real names tell you the story of things they belong to in my language.

» Treebeard, The Two Towers
 

Maybe you have heard of Trolls? They are mighty strong. But Trolls are only counterfeits, made by the Enemy in the Great Darkness, in mockery of Ents, as Orcs were of Elves. We are stronger than Trolls. We are made of the bones of the earth.

» Treebeard describes the Ents, The Two Towers
 

The wise speak only of what they know.

» Gandalf, The Two Towers
 

Don’t forget Gildor’s saying – the one Sam used to quote: “Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. “But our whole life for months has been one long meddling in the affairs of Wizards.

» Merry & Pippin, The Two Towers
 

I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

» Faramir, The Two Towers
 

Do not spoil the wonder with haste! I have given you my word to return hither with you, if a day of peace and freedom comes again.

» Legolas makes a promise to Gimli, The Return of the King
 

He knows not to what end he rides, yet if he knew, he still would go on.

» Aragorn describes Merry, The Return of the King
 

A time may come soon when none will return. Then there will be need of valour without renown, for none shall remember the deeds that are done in the last defence of your homes.

» Aragorn, to Eowyn, The Return of the King
 

Courage will now be the best defence against the storm that is at hand.

» Gandalf, The Return of the King
 

I fear treachery. . . Yet, a traitor may betray himself, and do good that he does not intend.

» Gandalf, The Return of the King
 

I am wise enough to know that there are some perils from which a man must flee.

» Faramir, The Return of the King
 

She was pitted against a foe beyond the strength of her mind or body. And those who will take a weapon to such an enemy must be sterner than steel, if the very shock shall not destroy them. it was an evil doom that set her in his path. For she is a fair maiden, fairest lady of a house of queens.

» Aragorn describing Eowyn, The Return of the King
 

A gift I will give you. For I am the daughter of Elrond. I shall not go with him now when he departs to the Havens; for mine is the choice of Luthien, and as she so have I chosen, both the sweet and the bitter. But in my stead you shall go, Ring-bearer, when the time comes, and if you then desire it.

» Arwen to Frodo, The Return of the King
 

I have been deeply hurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them.

» Frodo, The Return of the King
 

Keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so that people will remember the Great Danger and so love their beloved land all the more.

» Frodo to Sam, The Return of the King

Ender’s Saga (Orson Scott Card)

In all the world, the name of Ender is one to conjure with. The child-god, the miracle worker, with life and death in his hands. Every petty tyrant-to-be would like to have the boy, to set him in front of an army and watch the world either flock to join or cower in fear.

» Colonel Graff, Ender’s Game”
 

We may be young, but we’re not powerless. We play by their rules long enough and it becomes our game.

» Valentine, Ender’s Game
 

If not you, then who?

» Valentine to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Sometimes lies were more dependable than the truth.

» Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you.

» Valentine to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Human beings didn’t evolve brains in order to lie around on lakes. Killing’s the first thing we learned. And a good thing we did, or we’d be dead, and the tigers would own the earth.

» Valentine to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf. Survival first, then happiness as we can manage it.

» Mazer Rackham to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Perhaps it’s impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be.

» Ender, Ender’s Game
 

There was no doubt in Ender’s mind. There was no help for him. Whatever he faced, now and forever, no one would save him from it. Peter might be scum, but Peter had been right, always right; the power to cause pain is the only power that matters, the power to kill and destroy, because if you can’t kill you are always subject to those who can, and nothing and no one will ever save you.

» Ender, Ender’s Game
 

I don’t care if I pass your test, I don’t care if I follow your rules. If you can cheat, so can I. I won’t let you beat me unfairly – I’ll beat you unfairly first.

» Ender to Colonel Graff, Ender’s Game
 

He was a soldier, and if anyone had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he wouldn’t have known what they meant.

» Bean, Ender’s Game
 

I am your enemy, the first one you’ve ever had who was smarter than you. There is no teacher but the enemy. No one but the enemy will tell you what the enemy is going to do. No one but the enemy will ever teach you how to destroy and conquer. Only the enemy shows you where you are weak. Only the enemy tells you where he is strong. And the rules of the game are what you can do to him and what you can stop him from doing to you. I am your enemy from now on. From now on, I am your teacher.

» Mazer Rackham to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Humanity does not ask us to be happy. It merely asks us to be brilliant on its behalf. Survival first, then happiness as we can manage it.

» Mazer Rackham to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Since when do you have to tell the enemy when he has won?

» Mazer Rackham to Ender, Ender’s Game
 

I’ve lived too long with pain. I won’t know who I am without it.

» Ender to Valentine, Ender’s Game
 

Early to Bed and Early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes

» Mazer Rackham, Ender’s Game
 

Human beings are free except when humanity needs them

» Ender’s Game
 

If you can’t do it twice, you can’t do it at all.

» Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Win first, ask questions later.

» Ender, Ender’s Game
 

Perhaps it’s impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be.

» Valentine, Ender’s Game
 

So the whole war is because we can’t talk to each other. If the other fellow can’t tell you his story, you can never be sure he isn’t trying to kill you.

» Ender’s Game
 

Remember, the enemy’s gate is down.

» Ender’s Game
 

“I’m not stupid!” In Bean’s experience, that was a sentence never uttered except to prove its own inaccuracy.

» Ender’s Shadow
 

Know, think, choose, do.

» Ender’s Shadow
 

These other kids didn’t know love when they saw it.

» Ender’s Shadow
 

Analyzing things was fine, but good reflexes could save your life.

» Ender’s Shadow
 

Isn’t that what it means to be civilized? That you can wait to get what you want?

» Ender’s Shadow
 

And then he thought: Is this how idiots rationalize their stupidity to themselves?

» Ender’s Shadow

Robert A. Heinlein

TANSTAAFL (There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch)

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

In past history popularly elected governments have been no better and sometimes far worse than overt tyrannies.

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

Suppose instead of election a man were qualified for office by petition signed by four thousand citizens. He would then represent those four thousand affirmatively, with no disgruntled minority, for what would have been a minority in a territorial constituency would all be free to start other petitions or join in them. All would then be represented by men of their choice. Or a man with eight thousand supporters might have two votes in this body. Difficulties, objections, practical points to be worked out – many of them! But you could work them out. . . and thereby avoid the chronic sickness of representative government, the disgruntled minority which feels – correctly! – that it has been disenfranchised.

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

Whatever you do, do not let the past be a straitjacket!

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

You have put your finger on the dilemma of all government – and the reason I am an anarchist. The power to tax, once conceded, has no limits; it contains until it destroys. I was not joking when I told them to dig into their own pouches. It may not be possible to do away with government – sometimes I think that government is an inescapable disease of human beings. But it may be possible to keep it small and starved and inoffensive – and can you think of a better way than by requiring the governors themselves to pay the costs of their antisocial hobby?

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

I note one proposal to make this Congress a two-house body. Excellent – the more impediments to legislation the better. But, instead of following tradition, I suggest one house of legislators, another whose single duty is to repeal laws. Let the legislators pass laws only with a two-thirds majority. . . while the repealers are able to cancel any law through a mere one-third minority. Preposterous? Think about it. If a bill is so poor that it cannot command two-thirds of your consents, is it not likely that it would make a poor law? And if a law is disliked by as many as one-third is it not likely that you would be better off without it?

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

Seems to be a deep instinct in human beings for making everything compulsory that isn’t forbidden.

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
 

A monarch’s neck should always have a noose around it. It keeps him upright.

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
 

Nothing gives life more zest, than running for your life.

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
 

How can you expect to argue with a woman, who won’t?

» Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
 

That old saw about “to understand all is to forgive all” is a lot of tripe. Some things, the more you understand them, the more you loathe them.

» Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers
 

All societies are based on rules to protect pregnant women and young children. All else is surplusage, excrescence, adornment, luxury, or folly, which can -and must – be dumped in emergency to preserve this prime function. As racial survival is the only universal morality, no other basic is possible. Attempts to formulate a “perfect society” on any foundation other than “Women and children first!” is not only witless, it is automatically genocidal. Nevertheless, starry-eyed idealists (all of them male) have tried endlessly – and no doubt will keep on trying.

» Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love
 

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

» Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love
 

Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.

» Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love
 

I’ll give you an exact definition. When the happiness of another person becomes as essential to yourself as your own, then the state of love exists.

» Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
 

Be wary of strong spirits. It can make you shoot at tax collectors . . . and miss.

» Robert A. Heinlein
 

Morality is your agreement with yourself to abide by your own rules.

» Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Carl Sagan

We wish to find the truth, no matter where it lies. But to find the truth we need imagination and skepticism both. We will not be afraid to speculate, but we will be careful to distinguish speculation from fact.

» Carl Sagan
 

The method of science is far more important than the findings of science. If we teach only the findings and products of science, not matter how useful and even inspiring they may be, without communicating the method, how can the average person possibly distinguish science from pseudoscience?

» Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science As a Candle in the Dark
 

Any illness or storm, anything out of the ordinary, was popularly attributed to witchcraft. For much of our history, we were so fearful of the outside world, with its unpredictable dangers; that we gladly embraced anything that promised to soften or explain away the terror. Science is an attempt, largely successful, to understand the world. Microbiology and meterology now explain what only a few centuries ago was considered sufficient cause to burn women to death.

» Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science As a Candle in the Dark
 

We have arranged a global civilization in which most crucial elements – transportation, communications, and all other industries; agriculture, medicine, education, entertainment, protecting the environment; and even the key democratic institution of voting – profoundly depend on science and technology. We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology.

» Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science As a Candle in the Dark
 

The history of science – by far the most successful claim to knowledge accessible by humans – teaches us that the most we can hope for is successive improvement in our understanding. Because science carries us toward an understanding of how the world is, rather than how we would wish it to be, its findings may not in all cases be immediately comprehensible or satisfying.

» Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science As a Candle in the Dark
 

What skeptical thinking boils down to is the means to construct, and to understand, a reasoned argument and – especially important – to recognize a fallacious or fraudulent argument. The question is not whether we like the conclusion that emerges out of a train of reasoning, but whether the conclusion follows from the premise or starting point and whether that premise is true.

» Carl Sagan
 

Who cares which breakfast cereal has more vitamins when we can take a vitamin pill with breakfast? Likewise, why should it matter whether an antacid contains calcium if the calcium is for nutrition and irrelevant for gastritis? Commercial culture is full of similar misdirections and evasions at the expense of the consumer. You’re not supposed to ask. Don’t think. Buy.

» Carl Sagan
 

Children with special abilities and skills need to be nourished and encouraged. They are a national treasure. Challenging programs for the gifted are sometimes decried as elitism. Why arenÆt intensive practice sessions for varsity football, baseball and basketball players and interschool competition deemed elitism? After all, only the most gifted athletes participate. There is a self-defeating double-standard at work here, nationwide.

» Carl Sagan
 

Star Trek, despite its strong international and interspecies perspective, often ignores the most elementary scientific facts. The idea that Mr Spock could be a cross between a human being and a life form independently evolved on the planet Vulcan is genetically far less probable than a successful cross of a man and an artichoke.

» Carl Sagan

Movies

I’ve had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being so charming.

» Deckard, BladeRunner
 

Only when we have to fight to stay human do we realise how precious it is.

» Dr. Miles Bennell, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1956
 

There’s that word again, “heavy. ” Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth’s gravitational pull?

» Dr Emmet Brown, Back To The Future
 

I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you.

» Star Wars: A New Hope
 

The question “Do you believe in God?” has a peculiar structure. If I say no, do I mean I’m convinced God doesn’t exist, or do I mean I’m not convinced he does exist? Those are two very different questions.

» Dr. Arroway, in Contact
 

No matter where you go, there you are!

» Buckaroo Bonzai
 

Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr. Bond. It may be your last.

» Auric Goldfinger, Goldfinger
 

I shall not call on you Clarice, the world is far more interesting with you in it, but I really must be going : I’m having an old friend for dinner. . . ”

» Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs
 

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I always ask that of my prey. I just like the way it sounds. . .

» The Joker, Batman
 

It reminds me of the heady days of Sputnik and Yuri Gagarin when the world trembled at the sound of our rockets. Now they will tremble again – at the sound of our silence. The order is: engage the silent drive.

» Captain Ramius, The Hunt For Red October
 

You and I are very much alike. Archeology is our religion, yet we have both fallen from the pure faith. Our methods have not differed as much as you pretend. I am but a shadowy reflection of you. It would take only a nudge to make you like me. To push you out of the light.

» Rene Belloc, Raiders of the Lost Ark
 

All your life has been spent in pursuit of archeological relics. Inside the Ark are treasures beyond your wildest aspirations. You want to see it opened as well as I. Indiana, we are simply passing through history. This, this is history.

» Rene Belloc, Raiders of the Lost Ark
 

Professor of archeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities.

» Intelligence Officer, Raiders of the Lost Ark
 

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die.

» Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
 

You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

» Miracle Max, The Princess Bride
 

I’ve hired you to help me start a war. It’s an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

» Vizzini, The Princess Bride
 

HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

» Vizzini and Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
 

Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

» Vizzini, The Princess Bride
 

You only think I guessed wrong – that’s what’s so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha-ha, you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia”, but only slightly less well known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line. “. Hahahahahah. [Vizzini falls over dead]

» Vizzini, The Princess Bride
 

Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
The King’s stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed.

» Inigo Montoya and Miracle Max, The Princess Bride
 

Get back, witch.
I’m not a witch, I’m your wife. And after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more.

» Miracle Max and Valerie, The Princess Bride
 

Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is lean and the tomato is ripe.

» Miracle Max, The Princess Bride
 

I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There’s not a lot of money in revenge.

» Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Star Wars

Traveling through hyperspace ain’t like dusting crops, boy. Without precise calculations, we’d fly right through a star, or bounce too close to a supernova, and that would end your trip real quick, wouldn’t it?

» Han Solo, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

» Han Solo, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

In my experience, there’s no such thing as luck.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Your eyes can deceive you; don’t trust them.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if a million of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and then, suddenly, silence.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Who’s the more foolish: The fool, or the fool who follows him?

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought!

» Princess Leia to Han Solo about the Millennium Falcon, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

» Darth Vader, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

What a piece of junk!

» Luke Skywalker on sight of the Millennium Falcon, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?

» Princess Leia finds herself walking behind Chewbacca, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master.

» Darth Vader to Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Only a master of evil, Darth.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi in response to Darth Vader, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

We’re doomed!

» C-3PO, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Look at the size of that thing.

» Wedge Antilles, when aproaching the Death Star, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Go that way! You’ll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile.

» C-3PO, as he argues with R2-D2 after crash landing on Tatooine, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, as he describes Mos Eisley spaceport, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

» Obi-Wan Kenobi, using the Jedi mind trick, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

You know, sometimes I amaze even myself. That doesn’t sound too hard.

» Han Solo on escaping from the Death Star and Princess Leia’s reply, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

Don’t you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.

» C-3PO to R2-D2, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
 

I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee!

» Princess Leia, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Laugh it up, fuzzball!

» Han Solo to Chewbacca, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Great warrior, hmm? Wars not make one great.

» Yoda, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Do or do not; there is no try.

» Yoda, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

You don’t know the

power of the Dark Side.
» Darth Vader, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?

» Yoda, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Join me, and together we shall rule the galaxy.

» Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Always in motion is the future.

» Yoda, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

Don’t blame me. I’m just an interpreter. I’m not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal.

» C-3PO, Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
 

When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good, you will not.

» Yoda, Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi

Television

There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.

» The Doctor, Dr. Who
 

Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

» The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition #76 – Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
 

Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

» The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition #47 – Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
 

Laws change, depending on who’s making them, but justice is justice.

» Odo, A Man Alone, Star Trek DS9
 

I’m not great with advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

» Chandler, Friends – The One With The Tea Leaves
 

It’s just hard not to listen to TV, its spent so much more time raising us than you have.

» Bart to Homer, The Simpsons
 

Could she be anymore out of my league
» Chandler, Friends
 

Love? Pah. Overrated. Here, look, these are my three wives: Pestilence, Famine and Death. Do you think I married them for their personalities? Their personalities could shatter entire planets! Arranged marriages, every one, but they worked out. They inspired me. Knowing that they are waiting at home for me is what keeps me here — 75 light years away.

» Londo, Babylon 5 – The War Prayer
 

To live on as we have (forever) is to leave behind joy, and love, and companionship, because we know it to be transitory, of the moment. We know it will turn to ash. Only those, whose lives are brief can imagine that love . . is eternal. . . You should embrace that remarkable illusion. It may be the greatest gift your race has ever received.

» Lorien to Ivanova, Babylon 5 – Into The Fire
 

Oh. Not the one, no.
Not the one what?
Not the one. Won’t talk. Can’t talk. Not the one. They told me, they did. Zathras listens, he does, yes. Zathras listens and does what he’s told.

» Zathras and Sinclair, Babylon 5 – Babylon Squared
 

Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.

» Zathras to Major Louis Krantz, Babylon 5 – Babylon Squared
 

Zathras does not want to die. But if it is the only way, then Zathras dies. It is life.

» Zathras to Sinclair, Babylon 5 – Babylon Squared
 

You see, it’s like I’ve always said: “You can get more with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can with just a kind word. ” Please, continue.

» Marcus to Lennier, Babylon 5 – Ceremonies of Light and Dark
 

Then I will tell you a great secret, Captain. Perhaps the greatest of all time. The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station and the nebula outside, that burn in the stars themselves. We are star stuff! We are the universe, made manifest, trying to figure itself out. And as we have both learned, sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective.

» Delenn, Babylon 5
 

No greater love hath a man, than he lay down his life for his brother. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame – for one person, alone in the dark. Where no one will every know or see.

» How can we know the chosen ones? Babylon 5
 

The past is gone, the future yet to be, the present just that, a gift, wrapped for us to enjoy.

» Telemachus Rhade, Andromeda – The Spider’s Stratagem
 

It takes a minute to find something special in a person, an hour to appreciate them, and a day to love them. But it takes an entire life to forget them.

» Beka Valentine, Andromeda – Shadow Cast by a Final Salute
 

I’m a warship, and I don’t like walking away from a fight.

» Andromeda, Andromeda – Angel Dark, Demon Bright
 

Dylan Hunt: Talking to yourself is the first sign of mental collapse.
Rommie: (simultaneously as avatar and hologram) Only for wetware.

» Andromeda – The Ties that Blind
 

It’s a teleporter. It scans you, destroys you, transmits you through the projector, and then rebuilds you from the particles up. Hilarity ensues.

» Harper, Andromeda – The Banks of the Lethe
 

When I touch you, do you feel me, or do you measure the pressure of my fingers against your skin? When I speak, do you hear me, or do you interpret an acoustic wave? I can’t be objective about this, I’m not a machine.

» Dylan (to Rommie), Andromeda – The Banks of the Lethe
 

Hey, I read the first officer’s job description. ‘Playing Devil’s Advocate’ – it’s on page three.

» Beka, Andromeda – All Great Neptune’s Ocean
 

If hope is the engine of the soul, Then duty is the navigator. . . And love is the fuel.

» High Guard Supreme Commander, Sani nax Rifati, Andromeda – The Mathematics of Tears
 

I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I’ll carry your books, I’ll carry a torch, I’ll carry a tune, I’ll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I’ll even ‘hari-kari’ if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!

» Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H
 

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

» Sidney Freedman, M*A*S*H
 

Actions are immoral. Opinions are not. And I won’t apologize for mine. Discussion is good, and for those of us fortunate enough to be the subject of magazine articles, it may be our responsibility from time to time to try and raise the level of debate.

» Dan Rydell, Sports Night – The Apology
 

And in that moment, Dan was reminded once again why he wanted to write in the first place. It’s for the same reason anybody does anything: to impress women.

» Jeremy Goodwin Sports Night – Dear Louise
 

So don’t adjust that dial, and while we’re gone, if any talking animals ask you to buy some tacos or beer — for God’s sake, do what they tell you.

» Casey McCall, Sports Night – Shoe Money Tonight

Unclassified

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to really test a man’s character, give him power.

» Abraham Linclon
 

A man’s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.

» Albert Einstein
 

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater

» Albert Einstein
 

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

» Albert Einstein
 

The beauty of a woman is not the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides

» Audrey Hepburn
 

Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?I’m not sure that man needs the help.

» Calvin & Hobbes
 

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

» Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
 

No efficiency. No accountability. I tell you, Hobbes, it’s a lousy way to run a universe.

» Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
 

We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology.

» Carl Sagan
 

I’ve developed a new philosophy. . . only dread one day at a time.

» Charlie Brown
 

While you’re waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It’s a Spanish story about a guy named “Manual”.

» Dilbert
 

As you gain experience, you’ll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination.

» Dilbert advises Asok the Intern, Dilbert
 

There are two essential rules to management. One, the customer is always right; and two, they must be punished for their arrogance.

» Dogbert, Dilbert
 

Macintosh – we might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.

» Douglas Adams
 

Seldom, if ever, has a war ended leaving the victors with such a sense of uncertainty and fear, with such a realization that the future is obscure and that survival is not assured.

» Edward R. Murrow, 1945
 

The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with truths for which Archimedes would have sacrificed his life.

» Ernest Renan (1823-92)
 

People who get married because they’re in love make a ridiculous mistake. It makes much more sense to marry your best friend. You like your best friend more than anyone you’re ever going to be in love with. You donÆt choose your best friend because they have a cute nose.

» Fran Lebowitz
 

We see, then, how far the monuments of wit and learning are more durable than the monuments of power or of hands. For have not the verses of Homer continued twenty-five hundred years or more; during which time infinite palaces, temples, castles, cities, have been decayed and demolished?

» Francis Bacon, The Advancement of Learning, 1605
 

Mathematics is the language in which God has written the universe.

» Galileo
 

He who would be friends with God must remain alone or make the whole world his friend.

» Gandhi
 

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

» Gandhi
 

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.

» George Bernard Shaw
 

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to himself. All progress, therefore, depends upon the unreasonable man.

» George Bernard Shaw
 

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

» Groucho Marx
 

Fiat justitia, ruat coelum. (Do the right thing even if the heavens fall. ) It’s not nearly as naive a maxim as it seems, because in the real world it often turns out that doing what is morally the right thing is also, in practical terms, the right thing to do.

» Gwynne Dyer
 

Conscience : The inner voice which warns us that someone might be looking

» HL Mencken
 

In some sense, which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose.

» J. Robert Oppenheimer
 

As long as men are free to ask what they must; free to say what they think; free to think what they will; freedom can never be lost and science can never regress.

» J. Robert Oppenheimer
 

It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they couldn’t charge sixteen dollars for that little tiny jar.

» Jane Goodsell
 

The Universe is full of people who want to be immortal but don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon

» JMS, creator of Babylon 5
 

The liberty of man in society is to be under no other legislative power but that established by consent in the commonwealth.

» John Locke
 

Whenever the legislators endeavour to take away and destroy the property of the people, or to reduce them to slavery under arbitrary power, they put themselves into a state of war with the people, who are thereupon absolved of any further obedience, and are left to the common refuge which God hath provided for all men against force and violence.

» John Locke
 

There remains still in the people a supreme power to remove or alter the legislative when the find the legislative act contrary to the truth reposed in them.

» John Locke
 

Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.

» Jonathan Swift
 

The lights of stars that were extinguished ages ago still reaches us. So it is with great men who died centuries ago, but still reach us with the radiations of their personalities.

» Kahlil Gibran
 

Will the Minister explain how it is that an inedible tinned food can become an unsolicited email, bearing in mind that some of us wish to be protected from having an email?

» Lord Renton in a House of Lords debate on spam emails
 

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.

» Luciano de Crescenzo
 

I might be in the basement. I’ll go upstairs and check.

» M. C. Escher
 

An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind.

» Mahatma Gandhi
 

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

» Mitch Ratliffe
 

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.

» Nathaniel Borenstein
 

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

» New York Times, November 26, 1991
 

The secret isolated joy of the thinker, who knows that, a hundred years after he is dead and forgotten, men who never heard of him will be moving to the measure of his thought.

» Oliver Wendell Holmes
 

There is some risk involved in action, there always is. But there is far more risk in failure to act.

» President Harry Truman, 1948
 

I can doubt everything, except one thing, and that is the very fact that I doubt. Simply put – I think, therefore I am

» Rene Descartes (1596 – 1650)
 

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

» Rod Serling
 

People are idiots. Including me. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with the low SAT scores. The only difference is that we’re idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

» Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
 

That man says women can’t have as much rights as men, because Christ wasn’t a woman. Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman. Man had nothing to do with him.

» Sojouner Truth (1851)
 

Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can, gentlemen will walk but never run.

» Sting, An Englishman In New York
 

The English-speaking world is divided into those who have read The Lord of the Rings and those who are going to read it.

» The London Times in their original review of the Rings novels
 

Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.

» Thomas Moore, Come, Ye Disconsolate
 

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.

» Victor Hugo
 

It is to him who masters our minds by the force of truth, and not to those who enslave them by violence, that we owe our reverence.

» Voltaire, 1726
 

Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil.

» Wally, Dilbert
 

I’m in a battle of wills with a guy who lets all his calls rollover to voicemail. I do that too, so all day long we trade messages saying “Call Me”, and then we ignore incoming calls.

» Wally, Dilbert
 

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

» Will Durant
 

God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

» William Cowper, “Light Shining Out of Darkness”
 

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

» Winston Churchill
 

Trust the computer industry to shorten ‘Year 2000’ to Y2K. It was this kind of thinking that caused the problem in the first place.

 

People say Microsoft paid $14 million for using the Rolling Stones song “Start me up” in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft paid $14 million only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn’t use the line “You’ll make a grown man cry”.

 

You need the computing power of a Pentium, 16 million bytes of RAM, and a 1 billion-byte hard disk to run Windows 95. It took the computing power of approximately 3 Commodore 64s to fly to the moon. Something is wrong here. . .

 

Did you know, 50% of doctors graduated in the BOTTOM HALF of their class.

 

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

 

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
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